I feel like crap.

I know there are a lot of really great things going on in my life right now, but honestly? Right now I can’t feel a thing. Other than utter despair that is…

I look in the mirror and I don’t like what I see. My skin is so dry it’s flaking, my hair’s a mess and I just bled through my jeans and into my sofa…

I’ve tried doing what I usually do to help myself get out of this funk, but it’s not working. I turn on my shows and start playing the games I like and I just get restless and want to turn them off. I tried talking to my friend and my mother, but nothing helps. I just feel miserable. So this is the last resort. Getting things down “on paper” – so to speak – usually helps, but I’m not sure it will this time…

I don’t know what’s wrong… Everything in my life seems to go so well, but I just want to curl up into a ball and cry.

Maybe this is just because I’m having my period, I don’t know, but…that’s just it. I don’t know. I don’t know myself anymore and it’s freaking frustrating. Two years ago (just about) I could tell you everything about myself. Down on the deepest psychological level. I knew then – without a doubt – what my goals and – most importantly – my limitations were. Now? All I see is some girl. A succesful, capable girl, I might add, but still…not me. Not the person I used to know. I’ve changed so much recently and sometimes I really wish I could go back.

I don’t know if I can handle this. I’m faced with challenges right now where it would really help to know myself a little better, to know my limitations, but…I just can’t see it…