For this post to make sense I need to tell you that I recently rearranged my apartment…

I’m sitting in my now very organized apartment and I feel strangely at peace. More than I’ve ever been before. And it’s strange because I’ve been a creature of chaos my whole life. I’ve always struggled to understand the need for order and cleanliness the rest of the world seemed to share. And even as an adult there were still parts of the regular household chores I just couldn’t bring myself to do. When it got too bad my parents would come and help me do a sweep, and when they left – even though I appreciated their help and logically knew that this was good for me – I would freak out because it was too clean. My point is: I’ve always needed some chaos around me to feel at home, but right now I’ve just sat down fron doing the dishes and cleaning up after dinner (something which I’m almost never able to do without someone making me) and this feels good.

I’m content…and it’s freaking me out!